Pain is another cheater...

PAIN doesn't seize to amaze me. We take for granted feeling healthy and fine - free of pain. I can't imagine what people who have constant pain go through. A little pain/discomfort can change my whole outlook on life and change my mood. Yet again, it also makes me appreciate. But once the pain goes, I forget how bad it feels and when it does come back again (which it definitely does) I am again amazed.
Why is it that we always remember the good stuff in our life but not the bad? Somehow with the bad - the way I remember it isn't as intesified as it was originally. I look back at my diary entries and I am shocked at the intensity of my feelings because I don't remember it that way! It isn't so bad in my memory, but there on paper it's terrible!

Pain is essential to survival. It motivates us to withdraw from damaging or potentially damaging situations, protect damaged body parts while they heal, and avoid those situations in the future

Maybe I should remember Wikipedia next time I'm in pain, or babies. Did you know that babies experience more pain than the doctors realise? Babies don't necessarily cry when they are in pain.

Words unlike any other words...

Majda Roumi's song - Kalimat has me mesmerized once again. This song holds such dear memories for me, and at that point, it was just a song. At that tender age I never understood it or even listened to the lyrics. It was a tune that would transport me to a different time. Now, I can relate to it and it is such a romantic song, and she's got a beautiful voice.

This song is about a woman who was taken to the dance floor and been told words as they danced that drifted her off to basically dream land, unaware of her surroundings only for the dance to end, and for her to go back to her seat with nothing but the words uttered to her.

The lyrics are a poem by Nizar Qabbanni. Here is an english translation:

He tells me,
When he dances with me,
Words that aren't like words
He takes me underneath my arm
And plants me in a cloud

And the black rain in my eye
Pours down... pours
He carries me with him... he carries me
To a night on a rose-filled terrace

And I am like a child in his hand
Like a feather carried on the breeze
He carries for me seven moons
In his hand a bunch of songs

He gives me a sun... he gives me
A summer and a flock of swallows

He tells me... that I am his masterpiece
And I am equal to thousands of stars
And that I am a treasure... and that I am
More beautiful than any painting he'd ever seen

He tells me things that make me giddy
That make me forget the dance hall and the steps
Words that upturn my history
That make me a woman in seconds

He's builds me a castle of illusions
I don't live in it except for a few moments
And I return, I return to my table
With nothing with me... except words

*sigh*

I feel like falling in love all over again now

When it comes to death...

As I walked into the office this morning, I could feel there was something amiss. I didn't recieve much enthusiasm in the replies to my salams. Reaching my seat, I asked my colleague 'how are you today?' She just stared right back at me... I then dipped under the table to turn on my computer, only to come up and recieve the same blank stare. Little did I know she was trying to remain composed and tell me that one of our colleagues-in another division- passed away last night. Heart attack. He's been having heart problems for a while and went on leave to get treatment. I can't help but wonder... how finite life is.

Every time I hear of a death I wonder, did he know he was going to die? Did he say his goodbyes? What about the people around him... his wife? Kids? Its amazing how life can be taken from us any minute - any second. Yet, we still think it won't. Not yet. Not me or my loved ones yet. It may cross our mind, but then that thought goes away. Whether the death was sudden, or there was a possibility all along, death still shakes me up. It's a reminder, a wake up call and a time to scrutinize my own life.

May he RIP.

Makan? Minum? FOOD I love!

For anyone planning to visit Malaysia: this is my food guide

Teh Tarik

Roti Tissue

And my favourite: Chocolate TWIGGIES (supermarket)

Some I don't have pictures of, unfortunately I lost my camera there.

Other foods I indulged in: Somehow tastier in mamak stalls (stalls based on the streets)

• Maggi Goreng (fried noodles)
• Nasi Goreng seafood (fried rice)
• Tandoori Chicken + Double cheese nan
• Roti Tisu (sea picture above - Cone shaped crispy bread with sugar coatings)
• Roti susu (Bread with sweetened condensed milk. Tasty)
• Roti Canai (plain bread)
• Tom Yam - Sea Food (Spicy soup) Yumminess great with white rice.

Drinks:

• Limau Ice (lemon juice)
• Teh Tarik (tea)
• Apple & aloe vera juice - (supermarket). Ps. Anyone visiting Malaysia may get me this drink as a gift. With twiggies.
• Orange Juice

Restaurants:

• Bubba Gump - best shrimp place in town "run FOREST run"
• Manhattan Fish market - traditional fish n chips
• Burger King. Yes. They have The Tastiest Mushroom Swiss Burger. Better than other BK's I've tasted worldwide!
• Michaelangelo's - for pasta
• Espressamenti - Ellie's - for a chillout facing the fountain at Bukit Bintang
• Secret Recipe - for deserts
• Delicious - for tea time snacks
• Tappanyaki - for japanese food lovers

Ah Malaysia is my food heaven.

*sigh*

3 years

Malaysia.
I lived there for 3 years
...and went back after 3 years.

It got me thinking how much can change.

What if I said three years from now, you're suddenly not friends anymore?
What if three years from now, the person you love isn't there
What if three years from now you realise some things are exactly the same?
What if three years from now you feel time has cheated you?

"3 years from now... " if anyone told me then I'd have called them a liar.

And you look around at others, and see how much has changed in their life. How much has changed in yours and finally I look at how much has changed in mine. It could've been 3 years, or even 3 months. In the end, the only change I can see is the change within.

Eid Mubarak!

Eid was good. Really good this time. Eid to us is all about F.A.M.I.L.Y. First day - you see family. 2nd Day again, more of family and 3rd day - most of the time it's family.

*sigh*
I love my family.

I didn't do much that was different than last time, but I felt our family had that spirit in them. Our family custom is to gather on 2nd day of Eid. Recently, we've been holding one of our other functions on the same day as well, our "Awards Ceremony" to celebrate educational excellence. It's our (my age group of cousins) second year to organize it, thus a lot of time went into booking the venue, getting the menu sorted, getting a projector, the presentation, collecting marks, updates on new members into the family. etc. Each student is given a target grade to reach every year, which when reached, he/she is awarded by a prize in front of the whole family.

I remember as a kid this was certainly an event we used to look forward to, and it was a great motivator to do well and achieve in our final exams. Now this day is merged which the 2nd day of eid which makes it all more important not to mess it up. Stress levels are high, but once again we pulled it off. Another achievement for us!

Now, after Eid, I'm looking back on how fast ramadhan passed. I did quite well at the beginning, going for taraweeh prayers and reading the Quran as planned. I slacked off in the middle as we were in the midst of shifting, however, this Ramadhan has left me a bit more knowledgeable of the Quran, alhamdulilah.

How has Ramadhan left you?

Dr. Zakir Naik

A few days ago I attended Dr. Zakir Naik's lecture. The topic was 'Da'wah or Destruction'. Da'wah means to invite/to summon. It's a first for me to attend his lectures. Or should I say it was a first for me to attend any Islamic lecture held here, in Dubai. As we reached, I was amazed at how packed it was. Entrance was free you see, and there was a lot of traffic to reach the Dubai Airport Expo, which was were the lecture was held. As we finally parked - on the pavement; people kept on rushing in. Throngs of people...I was worried we might not even get seats as we did arrive on time. I had to ask them and I was informed that they had a seating capacity of 10,000 people! It was very well organised, from the seating arrangements to the speakers and wide screens on the side.
Now in short, concerning the actual lecture, I left the hall 2 hours later feeling like I'd been told off. Like I'd just had a good scolding that was well deserved! As Muslims we have the responsibility of inviting non-Muslims into Islam. It is obligatory. All of us and the least we can do as he put it is to 'Open your mouth.' At least open your mouth when others speak to you of their religion, of their 'Gods'. We would be asked of this on the day of judgment. No supreme knowledge is needed, nor are you being asked to fight other religions. All he's asking of us is to at least open our mouths. Just ask them 'Why do you believe he's your God?' Take it from there...
If you're being asked to mind your own business, then inform them that you are. It is a Muslim's business to pass on the message that there is no God but Allah(swt) and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is his messenger.

Allah (subhanahu wa Ta`ala) says in the Quran:

"Invite to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided." (Quran, an-Nahl: 125)

"Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining al-ma`roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are successful." (Quran, Aal Imraan: 104)

That night after we left, we unfortunately missed the question/answer session where people converted into Islam.
So if you're a non Muslim reading this, please look into Islam with an open mind and a clear heart. As for my Muslim readers, we better start opening our mouths...

The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) has said: "Convey from me, even one verse." (Bukhari)

Ramadhan Kareem

This is one of my earliest memories, that comes back to me every Ramadhan. It's nothing religious, only connected to a religious month. I'm going back into time to relate what I always remember:

I rested my head against the window pane, forehead on cold glass looking out through the fog at the crowd, whose laughter reached me through the walls. A group of boys. Huddled. Around a bonfire on a chilly night. I watched from above as my brother walked out of the house, cross the street and join them. How enjoyable, I thought, and lucky. To be free... to be a boy. I crouched down, my mind not mine as I stared out into the fire. At the unfairness of it all. If only I were a boy...

P.s. No, I don't wish that anymore...

I eventually found out that Ramadhan is more than a 'guys staying-up-late night'! Ramadhan is much more meaningful than the outings, the shopping, the T.v serials and the food.

Besides, with the current weather, my envious memory can take a back seat for now.

May Allah accept all our good deeds and our fasting Insha'Allah this holy month of Ramadhan. I hope most of you take good advantage of it.

Who are we not to be?

By: B Read

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

This is such a beautiful poem, it has moved me in so many ways and provided clarity. Life in a nutshell is to obey God. It doesn't mean not achieving your dreams, or having fear of standing out. Or of being modest or taking the easy route as death will be upon us anyway. 'Your playing small doesn't serve the world.'

As they say, live your life, but leave your mark behind. Don't you think you ought to give life your best shot? I do now. Let that light shine.

To my online friends:

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.
And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com

This is a funny poem that was posted in ES. I liked it so much, I have to add it here! Author unknown. Enjoy it

Some of my Descriptive writings

I wrote this back when I was in school, about a prisoner and her experience in jail. Enjoy reading: ----------------------------------------- Tears welled up in my eyes as i looked at the four walls around me, from the top narrow bed, and the pain shot through me as it does every morning at the sight of those suffocating grey walls, which seem to be closing in on me, with no way out, day by day. The tears were gone now. I turned to the powerful and stonger me, ready to face the day ahead of me. I jumped off the bed, made it and walked out of the iron bars. I gave no attention to the person who was still snoring below my bed, who got punished for it. i gave no attention to anyone at all now. I didnt know what to say to them, i guess thats just cause there is nothing to say. I was pushed down the corridor, stopped now and then for the guards to unlock the door. As i reached the toilets there was an endless queue, each person awaiting to take their turns. Standing at the entrancewas a massive guard with a mean look on her face. We were ushered in three at a time with a huge blow on the back. Thank you. Inside the crammed room, there were cobwebs on each unreachable corner and greasy taps, which you'd think twice before touching them. I held my breath as I undressed, 'to the last piece' as ordered. It was as though I was undressed to the last piece of my dignity. Long wooden tables were lined across the breakfast room. The breakfast consisted of green soup with unknown ingredients in it, which I was forced to eat within ten minutes. Silently we were seated, everyone's head was bent into their bowls and the only sound, was the clicking of spoons against bowls, that was heard. looking around I happened to notice a slimy creature moving on the table, just opposite me. I felt the scream coming up and i held myself just in time, for the consequenses would've been severe. As the sunlight touched my face, I felt a sense of freedom, but only for a split of a second before I was pushed ahead to move on. For the past three years it still had that effect on me. The morning refreshments were really refreshing, but at the sight of the fence surrounding the ground and beyond that a greater wall shattered my dreams. Being outside always made me feel that freedom is so close, but yet so far, even farther than that great wall. The morning courses were really tiring, cleaning cells with an arm's length broom made of sticks and hay was exhausting and suffocating. By the time I was nearly finished, I was hurried into the kitchen to cook lunch. For lunch we had a handful of spoiled rice, a piece of stale and a glass of water, which i forced myself to gulp down my throat, god knows how hungry you get. The evening courses were worse. Washing nearly half of the prisoner's clothes of plain, dull grey material was deadly. By the time i finished, dinner had already been served. Without me. With a rumbling stomach, I wandered back into my cell. I climbed on my bed, and lay on my back on the hard mattress...so relaxing. I hugged myself. I was on my own now and the dark was creeping in. The walls were closing in...closing...faster as i drifted off to sleep.

The Dark Figure

It is late. It is actually very late, cold and creepy around here. The cold is getting to me, I could feel it crawling slowly inside me as I stand waiting on the platform. It is all quiet, they’re standing there also waiting for the last train to arrive. I turn my head to look at them, they’re no different from me. We’re all scared of each other, staring at each other.
The silence is killing me, it’s too silent. I walk away from them, maybe too far from their staring eyes, it somehow makes me feel comfortable, to know that I’m alone. Am I alone? As I look around me, a shiver runs up my spine. There is one other person on the platform, a dark figure. Suddenly the lights are extinguished, a sudden rush of wind whips up and there is a strange howling sound. I’m shivering, I embrace myself to keep the chills off and slowly look around me, cautiously, probably expecting a monster or something, but all I can see is the mist surrounding me and nothing more. I look ahead and try to concentrate not to panic, there is no one around, it’s only me, and the train is going to come any minute now and I’ll be on my way home.
Suddenly, in the middle of the silence and alarm went off, I let out a cry and I nearly jump out my skin, oh my god, calm down, calm down. It was just my watch going off at midnight. I’m tired. I turn my head to look around, and there in the shadows, he is standing, a dark figure. I can’t see his face, a mist comes and eats him up. I look ahead and wipe my eyes, I’m very tired and exhausted today, I’m imagining things. I’ll get home, lay down and wake up early tomorrow…thank god. I can hear the faint sound of the train coming in. There it is, the train. I run towards it as fast as my legs can go, I look behind and start running faster. I saw a glimpse of a figure running after me. I’m running faster away from him.
My breath is coming in gasps. Cool down. I’m in the train and it’s moving now. I look outside and I see the dark figure standing there in the light. I could see his face. I gasped . I couldn’t…he hasn’t got one!

----------------

I wrote this when I was probably 14 years old for school, I then posted them in ES, and now I'd like it here in my blog for my memories.
Enjoy!

The X-Files

It was one of those scary nights with a starry sky and the moon so bright that it looked as if it didn’t belong there, when it happened to him again.
The house with the sky in view, porch light on and the wind rustling around looked like a haunted house even though it was an ordinary house.
It was all silent except for the faint sound of the television somewhere in the house and a dog’s footsteps that were heading towards its bowl. The dog ate a little bit and left to his master’s bedroom to settle down at the bottom of a bed where his master, Duane Barry, was lying on his back, snoring a little in his sleep. The walls around him were covered in plastic dust sheets covers as the house was in the process of being extended.
The dog was looking at the television screen where there was a black and white film on and suddenly the dog raised its head, whimpered, it was frightened. The T.V had suddenly turned to static and there was no image.
Something was moving around the house. Strange figured. They could be seen through the plastic sheeting as two of them stood beside Duane’s bed, two indiscernible shapes seem to be watching them. The dog felt it. It whimpered and jumped off the bed. Just then Duane Barry woke up abruptly, startled, feeling suffocated as if something were closing in on his lungs. He gasped out helplessly, “I can’t breathe!”
He was illuminated with intense white light.
The alien figures were still standing mysteriously behind the sheeting when the light becomes more and more intense that blinds Barry and forces him to turn his head away. The aliens now were moving closer and closer…
There was a scream.
A scream that scares you out of your skin, a scream more like a cry of pity and mercy, as the aliens surrounded his bed.
“No, NO! Not again!”
Every window and door had intense white light pouring out of it. A beam of intense white light came from an alien spaceship and into the house. The whole place was lit up and his screams were getting fainter.